laptop

So…my laptop just went caput and it might be a day or two before i post again considering I am typing this on a kindle lol. Hopefully it will be fixed very soon. In the mean time this will give me a chance to spend less time im front of my laptop and more time working out. 🙂

Eat

I really seem to swing back and forth worrying about what I’m able to eat vs. not able to eat on this diet and after I’m finished. I obviously think that I will miss certain foods, but I wonder just how much I will? Will I just think about what food I can’t have then sabotage myself? I hope not, at times though I seem to think about the million of things I can’t have to the next 4+ months. In a perfect world I would love to follow this diet 100% of the time and reach my goal on time then go back to eating “normal” food and not even have to worry about what I consume. In reality I now know this is not the case, my normal clearly isn’t working for me.  It took me a long time to accept this fact, and I’m not sure I even fully have.

For me it’s a lot easier to think I only have to do this for “x” amount of months instead the rest of my life. I know to maintain weight loss I won’t be able to eat absolutely everything I want 100% of the time and you know what I’m ok with that.  Most change is a little bit scary even if it’s for the better. I know that this journey won’t be easy, but it’s far from impossible. Even more then changing physically, I need to change my mental aspect to food. I find myself mindlessly shoving food into my body. I feel like I just go through the motions of life sometimes. I think I’m very lucky in the fact that I genuinely am happy with most aspects of my life and yet it seems one day blends into the next. Time is flying by and I’m tired of not living to the fullest. I just check out mentally at a time, it’s like when your driving and you missed your turn a mile ago and you just realize it.  No more checking out! My future health depends on it. I’m going to start meditating, get in touch with myself again. Hopefully this will help, if not I will continue to find things until I do find something. I won’t give up that’s just not me.

As far as short term food restrictions, I was worried until I found a few HCG recipe books. This really opened up my eyes to all the possibility available . Before I was just looking at it as plain food that I really won’t enjoy, and would just eat it to get through the diet. The recipes really showed me that I don’t have to look at it that way and I won’t. Yes there are a number of things that I shouldn’t eat, but there are a million ways to eat what I can I just have to be a little more creative in my thinking. This is very eye opening to me and I’m no longer dreading not being able to eat everything that I want.  I feel a million times better about starting my diet.